Friday 17th December was my last day before starting a new life without you by my side.
I didn’t sleep to good last night; the ache in my body was aggravated when I fell off the stairs on my way to bed, so this gave me time to look back on my life. I have been blessed with such a loving and caring family who regularly fed and walked me, gave me all the love, care and attention a Dog seeks.
The last few weeks I haven’t been my best and struggled with the things that I once took for granted, I didn’t like to moan, thou I know on the occasions that the pains didn’t ease you heard me whine. You had to assist me up the stairs at bed time as I would not stay down stairs while you were both in bed. Coming down the stairs was also difficult and I needed assistance with this to.
Mum and me on one of our nature walks.
My walks went down from 4 or 5 times a day across the fields to just yards 3 or 4 times as I couldn’t lift my back legs for some reason, these short walks was used just to allow me to do my business, which on some occasions you needed to hold my back end so that I didn’t end up sitting in it!
I had known for quite a while that things weren’t looking good, I tried so long and hard to hide my pain, but you saw thru this and you both made a good decision.
Sean passed me on the landing this morning before he left for work, I lifted my head and wished him a happy birthday as he descended the stairs. It wasn’t long after Sean had left the house when Dad came home from his night shift. He came upstairs where I met him at the top; he gave me his usual hug and caress before entering the bathroom, after he had finished in the bathroom Dad returned downstairs, in the past I would have followed him down where he would then take me out for a short walk. I then made it to where Mum was sleeping in her bed, and lay beside her for a good 10 minutes before the ache began again where I then tried to go back onto the landing, I didn’t make it on my 1st attempt, I collapsed into a heap; I struggled to get back on all fours but once up I did make it to the landing.
I saw Dad back on his way upstairs to bed and once again as we met he hugged me while he was stood on the stairs, he put his face close to mine with both of his hands clutching my cheeks. Dad got into bed and within a few minutes my body was aching and I couldn’t help myself when I began to whine.
I felt Mum at my side, she sat on the top step and hugged me for a while before we managed to descend the stairs. I waited a few minutes for Mum to get ready and take me for my 1st walk of the day just to the top of the cul-de-sac we live in to allow me to do my business. For the first time ever I stood at the door and did not want to go out, after a few minutes of coaxing from Mum we went thru the door and on to our driveway, I began to pee as I walked, we had only just made it to our next door neighbours house when I collapsed, but Mum had sensed this was going to happen and had got her arms around me quickly to help me back on all fours. I refused to move and Mum knew I wanted to return home, which we did. Back in the house I was given my usual morning treats but for some reason I just couldn’t face them, I made it to the living room and lay down, I really was tired. Mum went upstairs but was back down in about five minutes, she was crying.
I wasn’t feeling well, my body ached and I was tired as sleep was very hard to come by, Mum sensed this and gave me a cuddle. After a few hours I felt Mum walk past me into the kitchen, as I got to my feet to see what she was doing I saw that there were two strangers with her, I started to bark walking towards them, but as I got closer I got their scent, I knew who they were, Mum was crying very hard now. After a short while we all went into the living room, it was time to say our goodbyes.
I had already said my goodbyes to Dad and Sean but never got the chance to say goodbye to James, Kathryn, Adam and Lucy. So please let them know I loved them also.
I laid down with Mum who was holding my head in her arms, I felt the needle go into my leg, I will soon be free from my pain. Goodbye my lovely family and thank you for 12½ wonderful years of love, I will miss you all.
Ben
